I hear ya. Don’t think those thoughts that the title triggered are going unnoticed:
“She doesn’t know me very well, does she?”
“I can’t complete a single thing I set out to, that’s what’s wrong with me.”
“I need to lose weight/ gain weight, get fit, get a haircut, and my shoes are ugly.”
“I hate my job.”
“I ‘m terrible at finances. I never shop around for best prices.”
“I’m faking my way through life. I’m not nearly as good at my job/parenting/relationship as I pretend to be. I can’t believe I’ve gotten away with it this long.”
“I can’t read well/ write well/ dance well/ cook well… that’s what’s wrong with me.”
“I’ m stuck. I’m in a rut.”
“No matter what I do I cannot meet the expectations of others.”
“I can’t meet my own expectations, let alone others.”
Will this one article convince you that there’s nothing wrong with you? Perhaps not… A lifetime of beating ourselves up isn’t shifted instantly. But we can get you started….
What stops you is not what’s ‘wrong’ with you. The ‘what’s wrong with you’ thoughts are keeping you so busy you’ve hardly ever given a moment’s thought or an ounce of credit to ‘what’s right’. That, my friends, is what stops you: Not giving credit to what’s right.
Mary comes for coaching and announces that she’s terrible at finances.
“How so?” coach asks.
“Others I know shop around, finding the best prices on groceries, and I only shop at my favourite store. I could save us money if I collected coupons.”
“Would you enjoy doing that?” asks coach.
“I’d hate it! It would take so much time!”
“And what do you do with your time currently?”
This question leads Mary to an “aha”. Mary works in a demanding career that she loves. She also loves her family and is conscientious about creating quality time for them. She ensures the family eats well. And within this series of acknowledging what is right, Mary also notes that her time is worth money, and in fact, she is far more financially ahead by not spending her time collecting coupons and shopping around.
That’s what’s right about Mary.
What’s right about you?
Hey, you know.. you could explore that a little….Title a page “What’s right about me” and make a list of 50 things right about you. Do not stop when it gets hard. Be silly, get mad at me for asking as one item (or more!) on the list, but keeping going and going and going. A minimum of 50. Okay, give it a good shot.. you do want to get past the part where it’s easy. Your logical left brain will give up, and your intuitive right might start sharing. Be playful. Be silly. When you are finished, notice especially what emerges in the last 10 or so items. Any surprising messages there from the right side of the brain?
By the way, I hear the other thoughts: “I don’t have time to do this!!!” “I can never find 50 things!”
All you need is a lunch break and a pen and paper; or replace 20 minutes of facebook time with quickly typing up this list; or scratch out the list on napkins you find in the car while you are waiting to pick up your kids.
One list and you will feel at the very least, much better about you. And then, give yourself permission to notice what’s right about you on a daily basis. Or at least twice a week for starters.
Anyone willing to share their discoveries?