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The New and Improved Super Mom

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The new and improved Super Momma says “Whoops, Mommy Brain!“ and laughs out loud.  She knows mommy brain is a mega super conscious quantum tool that is reminding her to ‘do less.’

The new and improved Super Momma looks at her unbalanced dinner, adds slices of apple to each plate and says, “Good enough.”

The new and improved Super Momma has a laundry room with a door, and the clean clothes are in a clean pile most of the time. She might have baskets she and the kids playfully and haphazardly sort the clothes into in a very basketball game-like way. Or not.

If the Super Momma is going to fold clothes, she’ll do it on the couch watching a favourite movie or when someone has come for tea… guests will usually start helping.

The new and improved Super Momma puts ‘Ditto” up in lights on their home that is next door to an extravagant Christmas light display. In Spring, she posts a ditto sign in her one thriving shrub, pointed towards her neighbours fully landscaped, tweezer pruned yard.

The new and improved Super Momma  yells, “Honey I shrunk the kids!” after hiding the kids in a closet, and takes one moment to give her husband a passionate kiss before the evening chaos begins, and calls that ‘relationship connection’ done.

The new and improved Super momma goes to yoga. If she likes yoga.  But sometimes Mommy Brain kicks in and she ends up at a coffee shop instead, sipping lattes and reading a good book. “Sheesh, how did that happen?”  she wonders.

The new and improve Super Momma plays with her kids doing the thing she loves. And if Playmobil and Trucks on the floor are not her thing, she calls that type of play ‘the children’s independent playtime.’

The new and improved Super Momma picks one night a month to do things she wants. She knows Full Moon is a good choice; family be can more easily convinced to support her outing because Full Moon can make people act oddly and they wouldn’t want to mess that. Not only that, if her family happens to be the ones acting oddly during full moon, she gets to escape.

The new and improved Super Momma looks at her kid/s and says out loud, “Dang, you are precious!” even when they are dressed funny, the felt pen won’t wash off, and they’ve been whiny all morning. She notices she just feels good saying it. That, and she loves watching the older kids’ bewilderment when they know they weren’t being all that precious.

The new and improved Super Momma passes the buck. When it’s hard for the kids to do their chores or homework, she makes a habit of asking them “How can you make this fun?”  and then she trusts that the children have an inner wisdom and innate playful creative side and they can come up with an answer.

The new and improved Super Momma doesn’t go crazy cleaning up for guests.  She doesn’t want her guests to miss an opportunity to really get to know her.  She serves tea besides the laundry mess and says, “Tea? Towel?”

The new and improved Super Momma enjoys creating her and her family’s life by design rather than default and in finding ways to do that, she gravitates toward “simple and do-able.”

The new and improved Super Momma models ‘doing things differently’ proudly, knowing the ‘old ways of the 50’s to 2017’s caused overwhelmed, over-guilted, under –funned  mommas.

The new and improved Super Momma models imperfection proudly, knowing she is changing the world one small imperfection at a time.

By Janet L.Whitehead

Originally written for Kamloops Momma Feb 2012

Professional Life Coach, Master Creativity Coach, and clearly an advocate for Moms

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Home and everyone is dancing.

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This morning the stereo blared with Indian Music… we all danced.  Megan and Evalee danced continuously,  Cody and Courtney cooked breakfast, and I took videos of the wee dancer… in between dancing myself.   This is what people do when they get home from being away, right?  This is what people do when they have had 2.5 hours sleep in 44 hours – isn’t it? 

Well, apparently we do.   It was lovely.  Lovely to have Cody, my best son-in-law ever, cooking breakfast.  Lovely to listen to Bollywood music and dance and enjoy Evalee’s interactions with Casper the dog and with her toys, now that she is a full 7 weeks older and a world traveller.  Lovely to have Megan home after her 28 months of travel.  Lovely to see that Casper the dog is now relaxed, having apparently been quite a whiny, unsettled dog for the past 7 weeks.  Lovely to look at Courtney and think “Wow, You’re married!  Last time we were here we were still frantically planning a wedding!”

Lovely to see that my daughters ‘getting along’ continues even back home!  I know. I’ve never mentioned that …  but one of the most glorious parts of the trip was that my daughters got along so well.  This has not necessarily been true throughout their lives, so if nothing else had happened on this trip, that alone would have made me a very happy person.

My own bed felt fabulous. It’s great to have my own shampoo and conditioner again.. I no longer have to look like a face with a fuzzball around it.  And I don’t have to debate with my clothes about whether they can share my Sense body wash.  Not only that, I don’t even have to share the shower with them!  I probably don’t even have to have conversations with them at all! 

I am sooo tired.  Grama is coming over for tea, and then I will see how far into the evening I get before ‘just having to go to bed’!   I am also feeling quite ‘disoriented.’   Even putting the toilet paper into the toilet instead of a bin nearby feels weird. 

I’ve always been quite adept at ‘being on vacation’.. as in: after weekends or weeks off work, (when I worked a ‘day job’) I’d have to entirely rethink what my job was on the day of return.  I called it “Re-entry Syndrome”.   Now, being away for seven weeks from home, I have to ‘remember’ the details that need remembering… like paying bills, and laundry, and feeding the dog, and oh.. what’s that thing?  oh Ya, a vacuum!..  that sort of thing.   I like to give credit to my ability to ‘immerse’ in where I am at the moment as my reason for ‘forgetting’ things back at home that will eventually need to be ‘dealt’ with.   It’s so much nicer than telling myself I am an airhead or something not quite so brilliant as a person being capable of immersing in the moment.

The point is, while away, I was very much away from the everyday details of Canadian Life.  And now all the details of running a home, car, dressing for winter, etc seem very foreign to me.  Do I seriously have to wear shoes and not sandals now?  And what do I even own for shoes? 

Granted, a good part of this disorientation could be the lack of sleep recently. Topped with jet lag.

The good fortune, for me and those I work with, is that this time my ‘job’ didn’t get ‘set on the sidelines and forgotten’ while I travelled.  It’s an amazing feeling not needing to rethink my ‘job’ now that I’m back.  Coaching and creating, exploring, dreaming, discovering… it’s just who I am.  It feels so good to recognize this… I’m just ‘being’ who I am, ‘doing’ what I love!  I don’t have to tune out my job to be able to enjoy vacation anymore!  In fact, the trip was enhanced by the fact that I was learning and discovering so many things that relate to how I do what I do.   

Just wait til your next guided visualization, those of you who share this experience with me!

And now, I think I’ll dance a bit more!

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