Speaking to me in a grand magical way.

No limits to the possibilties, this says to me!  And it arrived with words from one of my life time ‘soul connected’ songs..

Mmm.. magical

And It Stoned Me To My Soul…

Huh. I actually created something during kemo the other day. It’s a curious thing…..

“And It Stoned Me To My Soul…”
by Janet L. Whitehead 2012

My creative play healing sketchbooks.

One or the other or both of these sketchbooks go with me most places. One is mostly full of Evalee and Lainey’s artworks.  How healing is that to watch the little ones fill your sketchbook?  The other is full of quirky thank you cards in process, stories as I sit on a curb with my bald head, crazy thoughts. Somedays I wonder if I’ll ever actually finish anything… but mostly I’m thankful that I know of this secret and wondrous place of creativity that can reveal magic, insights, or simply lift my spirits, just by my ‘showing up’ and even doing the most crappy of doodles.  I was actually a little surprised looking back at “And it stoned me”… cuz man, I was pretty stoned. It’s a curious sketch, that one.  And yes, the sign on the door does say, “Jelly Rolls.”

Part III: My Tall Ship Escapade – A Fine Ship She Be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“When we believe what we imagine is true,
the universe conspires to acknowledge,
so we can believe even more.”

Janet L. Whitehead

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last year I got to climb the mast during a brief excursion on the Tall Ship “Lady Washington”. More recognized, perhaps, by it’s infamous role as HMS Interceptor on PIrates of the Caribbean

Preparing for Round 4 of chemo happened in bits and spurts and random check-ins with my Tall Ship.  Well, no, it’s not just about preparing for chemo and preventing allergic reactions. The random check-ins with my Tall Ship are about checking in with my body, mind and soul and feeling assured that the healing needed is happening.

But chemo is a strange thing…it’s unpredictable. This past 3 weeks was in many ways better than the previous rounds. Less tummy flu-ish feeling, and less ‘everything tastes like metal”  which is yucky. More weakness, some pain, definate lack of energy, and my mind can’t seem to think past my nose… but that’s all still more do-able than the yucky flu-ish stuff.

So, I am glad that over the years of my learning, one of my key beliefs is that the magic that can happen is soooooo much simpler than what is often taught in certain traditions.  Soooo much simpler. We are very very powerful beings. It does require us to know that. And it is through just noticing the signs, the feelings, the affirmations, the synchronicities,  over and over again… and finally giving credit where credit is due,  and then, trusting… that we can do this.

This was such an exhilirating, dream come true, event!

It doesn’t have to take years of learning. I hope my story helps others get there quicker, and affirms for those already there, that they are not alone. We all have the gift of what I call magic. Others may call it something different, but for me, it’s pure magic to have aha’s, epiphanies, the imagination, and witness the ‘so much more than we can see’ playing a part in our lives, our story and our ability to find intuitive answers.

Good thing I know this, because all I had energy for, or heck, the mind for, was the occasional random check-ins that happened by this past few weeks.  Peeking in on my ship, I saw the Masts spending a lot of time at the refitters… sanded, polished, stained, refreshed, renewed, reset, and carved with what looks like the faerie writing that appears on my pottery and paintings.  The Masts slept through all of this.  I had an aha moment around this when I realized I, too, was sleeping some 16 hours a day for a couple of days.  (By the way, for this to make any sense, you might want to read Tall ship Part I and Tall Ship Part II )

One day,  I came across an old painting of mine that, for whatever reason, was a ship without masts. It looked very lost in the storm it was placed in.  Likely, at the time, I wasn’t happy with the sails and had planned a redo.  It was set aside, though, until now, when it probably served it’s purpose: triggering a longing for my masts and sails. (I’ll post that painting sometime here. But for now, I give myself permission to do these posts imperfectly or they may never get done!)  I’ll add here though, another part that helps one recognize the magic around them is to know time is not linear. This painting done a long long time ago, was meant for now. If I spent time questioning the logic of that, I would not have recognized the importance of its presenting itself to me now.

And then one night as I lay in bed I wondered how the ship and the masts were doing. I opened my eyes, and noticed the framed photo on my wall… it had a gentle glow around it.  So that made it rather hard not to notice. It’s a photograph my daughter took in the Maritimes and framed for a Christmas present a few years back.

This one I AM posting here!

A very fine ship with amazing strong masts.

Do you know that feeling.. the momentary feeling that says “all is right with the world?”  I had that feeling.  The masts were back, strong, proud, aligned, ready to support their ship on any and all adventures.  Like a quick little movie, I had a peek at the process of crew, cranes, hub bub, hoists, and magical dust during the re-assembly.  Crew cheering. Ship aglow. Like the photo on the wall. Really. A glow.

See? The universe will do the wildest things to help you notice, perhaps even more so when your mind, body and soul are too tuckered to consciously do it themselves.

Me and Masts are going to be THIS HAPPY during kemo, we decided!

I went into round 4 of kemo.. (yes I like that spelling better) confident, and not feeling at all anxious. Yes, I was also drugged to the hilt with steroids and benadryl and ranitidine to prevent reactions.  But, then I do believe in the power of combining western and magical more ‘eastern’ medicine. After all, I’ve been  analyphylactic.. I’d have died without the western medicines when stung by wasps. (Although I’m starting to guess that I just might not be anymore, what with all that work going on on my Tall Ship. Whoo hooo.)  And I don’t yet have the ability, or shall I say the trust in the ability,  to remove a cancer by psychic surgery. I was downright delighted that a doctor could do that surgery.  I also don’t think my trusting some western medicine discredits my trust in magical healing.. and vice versa.  If you play in both methods, there are those who will say you are on the fence and not giving ‘eastern’ philosophies the chance to work. They will trash other traditions and techniques that don’t fit with their beliefs. But really? That’s just more things being taught to create both fear and limitations.  Oy. We are so much more than that. And so much more unique than that.

Okee dokee, that’s the steroids in process… definately hypes me up in my talking, and apparently my writing, with truly ‘didn’t mean to go there’ tendencies!!!

Anywayyyyyy… round 4 of chemo went well. No allergic reactions at all. One false alarm… leg pain.. and no doubt the nurses are quick to hit the emergency light given my history. Better safe than sorry.  It was rather entertaining when the doctor arrived, quickly assessed and said, with humour,  “Everybody step away  from the patient. She is fine. Not a reaction. Back away.”  Ha!

And today, my spirits are good, my body rightfully tired.  I know my Tall Ship is feeling whole and healthy and capable of managing this healing adventure well.

Phew. Life is good.

My life has been teaching me that all of these magical connections aren’t about making life ‘perfect’:  perfect health, no chaos, no tragedies, ideal financial flow…etc. etc.  Often those are goals for doing self-development and spiritual explorations.  But Life brings us challenges. Finding strength and wonder and curiousity and ‘what’s good’ in the process of making it through is what this all about, I think. And believe me, there have been times where this has flailed for me… for instance, when it’s someone I love affected, and then I struggle to truly feel the magic. I’m mentioning that, I think, so if this has happened to you, it doesn’t mean your ability to connect is gone. It’ll be back. ~smile~

Coreena McBurnie,  Mel Van Mol, Courtney… thank you for being my kemo buddies. I thought I’d do this last one alone, but you know, having one of you there.. well, the energy and comfort you’ve each  given me is as powerful as the drugs and the visualizations.  Love ya all.

Paddling and Nudie Padoodie

This was just plain funny… sharing here for those who many not have seen it yet.

My facebook post today:   Dear darlin’ daughters, Megan and Courtney,     Don’t worry I’m home safe and sound from the wee little excursion on the river. So when you see my number on your phones to let you know that, don’t think you have to drive to Savona to rescue me. Wait a sec, didn’t I mention please answer your phones in case you have to drive to Savona to rescue me?

Jody Tippett, Arden Grier Dunfield and 6 others like this..

Janet Whitehead: Ha ha.. turns out they decided to go to an ‘island’ and my daughter with ‘unique’ concepts of directions thought they’d see me there. Well, yes, if I’d paddled much longer, I would have been too tired, (plus the wind came up), the current would have floated me all that way and they could have rescued me before I hit Kamloops Lake, after all.

Janet Whitehead: Even funnier, they went to ‘nudie padoodie” beach. I asked Evalee about it (Megan had told me to call Evalee and ask her the name of where they went. hee hee)   and she said there was a family there nude. Before my girls went up the beach (guess they weren’t planning to nude up) Evalee told me about the beach and the family and added, “Mommy said ‘try not to stare’, but that’s hard.”

Oh, the honestly. Love it

Megan Unruh-Oswell:  miracle was I convinced Court to go to the Nude beach!!

Janet Whitehead: No kidding!!!!!!!!

Anatasia: Oh my soul. This dialogue is hilarious!

Gwen H: You wild woman — you definitely “Run with the Wolves”

Gwen R: it is hard not to stare 🙂

How “Nothing” on a Sad Day can Create Magic.

“Do something” I say to myself.

‘What’ crashes around me, crashes.

So much spiralling, out of my control

Into a splatter of dreams gone awry.

A “Hey! Wait a sec! That was my dreams!”

Has no effect.

“Do something” I say to myself.

No energy to plan, to map out new dreams.

Niggling shadow whispers, ‘That might crash, too’

Bright side says, “So what shall you do?”

Her smile almost annoying.

Some pouting is normal.

She repeats, “What, in this moment, can feed your soul?”

I ponder homemade ginger beer.

A sketch or a doodle or a splatter of mud.

A tidbit of the novel. Some nature commune.

A visit. A phonecall. Some little kid play.

My body is sore. My mind is too weary.

“Do something” I say to myself.

“Can you do nothing. Just nothing. And that be okay?” Ms. Bright has her say.

“Whatever.” I pout.  And I wonder, “Where’s the magic today?”

So nothing I do.

“Wild Horses couldn’t Drag Me Away”
Photo by Susanne Kriwtschenko
Outlining what I see: Janet L. Whitehead

But an image catches my eye.

I doodle its outline. I hear a whisper of song.

“Wild Horses couldn’t drag me away..”

And all of me smiles; shadow, bright and just me.

It is the spirit of my brother that whispers.

Now I know he is still near.

The magic has happened.

The struggles become minute placed beside such a connect.

I shall do nothing more.

~~~~~~

ps. “So shall I” announces Shadow

Tidbits of a Healing Week

Note: This is a babbling draft, but maybe worth saving as I download blog in March 2022.  Again, sorry for subscribers if you are getting all these old posts as notifications.  It’s rather curious, though, that in a conversation with a friend today, she asked if I’d written much when I went through breast cancer treatments. She’d wished she had. I said, “A little. On my blog, I guess.” and then tonight I discovered all these posts. Seemed like a sign that I should just publish these.

Shitty angst toward neighbour.

If I’m amazing and inspiring and courageous, as some of you have been so kind to say, it’s not because I am getting so many things done. Nor that I have inspired ideas and I follow them through to completion. Right now, not much is getting ‘done’.  Okay, to clarify for the creatives who, after that last statements, quite naturally went to ‘Oh, god, my unfiinished projects! Ugh”: If we followed through every idea, we’d be working 84 hours a day. So please don’t beat yourself up for all of your incomplete ideas and projects. Even untouched and incomplete, they have already led you to something else, some new thought, some new project. They’re good. Thank them. Maybe you’ll get back to them. Maybe not. The trick is to get some done. Which I’m not right now.

Ya ya.. I know. I’m getting something done. I’m healing. I hear ya.

But I do contemplate ‘amazing, inspiring, brave.”  And I want to share this. Right now, I am amazing because I do manage to keep trying to pay attention to what will give me energy, feed my soul a bit, keep me up. For the most part, I do.

I look at me like I might look at a client: I look at me needing time to heal.  I look at me, as so much has crashed around me, and how difficult the challenges have been over the years, how my business is non-existant, and my financial survival became dependant on my signing a paper saying I will sell my house in the spring so the bank can have their money back.  The bank people were jerks, but my lawyer made them a deal they couldn’t refuse.  I’m okay with it. Once again, my home is getting me through a difficult time. I’m percolating what inspiring and wondrous thing will happen when spring comes and I sell the house. Living in a cabin in the bush, but accessible to family and friends.. that sounds nice.

But I don’t come up with an inspired thought around all that right now.  I keep thinking, “Aren’t I supposed to have some amazing revelation right now?” “Some amazing life change?” “Isn’t that what happens in the movies?”

Oh, I do have a great idea in the works for all of us…  I’ll  trust I’ll get to completing it…

So… all well and good.. focussing on what I would help a client in my shoes focus on. Yes, it is amazing. I suppose,  that I am staying rather true to only what feels good. I can do it by seeing myself as my client, knowing there are too many things that can’t get fixed or worked on or done, that too much is out of her control, and that there is no energy left for things that drain her energy.

Yes, the crash in my life plays out this way: I absolutely don’t seem to be able to do anything at all that takes away my energy. I can’t get to my taxes.. even though there’s not much left to do.  I don’t get to my email. I scan for the good ‘uns.  The ones from people I know and love. But there’s too much stuff, that once served the purpose of keeping up with the world of coaching, creating, resources, and the inbox just overwhelms me even looking at it and I’ve missed important ones and it all drains my energy, so I tend not to go there often.

I forget important appointments..even with doctors.

I am a small business… extended health and disability insurance weren’t in place.

The weekend:   I slept 16 hours a day.  Sneaking a  peek at the masts in my visualization, I see they are resting. No wonder I slept so much. (During the week, I tidy my studio and find a painting I did in the past that has no masts. Huh.  Note: for the mast thing to make sense, you’d want to read the previous two posts)

BE HAPPY!! Your mood helps on how your body fights off infections, the happier you are the more likely you are to fight off infections, which increases your white blood count.

Sunday: I have a ‘crash’ day.  Not feeling good about things.  I do have worrisome moments in all of this. (No surprise there, right?)  Today my thoughts are my income and future income which are ..put lightly, concerning. This current experience is not conducive to keeping a coaching practise going.  As a small business, I haven’t had benefits or disability insurance. Today I beat myself up for not doing more around building future income. I decide that if I’m in this mood, perhaps I ought to dig deeper and look at the shadow side. I insist on doing a ‘quick list’ of 100 things that I’m not happy with. (I”m using gentle words here. The title was far from gentle.) By the end of it, I decide it was a completely depressing and  useless activity, for the first time ever in my quicklisting experiences.

I had only just finished this list when a by-law officer comes by: The neighbour put in a complaint about my weeds. Really? You couldn’t say something to me, ‘neighbour’?  And by the way, you haven’t noticed I’m missing a lot of hair?  Same neighbour who just cleaned up his six year renovating mess and I guess thinks he’s a hero. By-law officer is understanding and gives me lots of time for weeding.  But it all makes me cry realizing how little I can keep up the normal things. I give the middle finger gesture towards my neighbour.   Not so he sees, but it feels good. Yes, that’s a way better way to deal with ‘shadow side,’ I decide.  Later, I’ll send him compassionate energy. But for now, on this day, the middle finger gesture feels right, and telling my stepmom that makes her laugh, which makes me laugh.

I contemplate the age old method of putting a mirror on my fence:  reflecting all negative energy sent my way, away from me and back to the sender. But instead, I simply visualize a bubble of light that protects my home from other people’s unwanted stuff.

I decide I must get into nature, even as tired as I am.  A quick drive to a magical place nearby only leads to a billion mosquitoes attacking me. I think they are cruel.

Yes, Sunday was not a very good day.

Monday: My 77 year old stepmom comes by in the morning and does some weeding. I try to help and nearly pass out at bending over. This also makes me cry. .. but Hope Mikal had popped over as I was falling apart.  Hope is planning the fundraiser.. and her sweet smile and caring energy is so helpful.  Later, the Skaterboys hear the story of the whiny neighbour. One comes by and does some weeding. Another friend offers to bring his big monster weedeater one day. My brother, who weeded the ‘concerning’ perimeters not long ago,  is trying to come up with a way to keep the weeds from coming back during this particularly weedy summer. As we are anti-chemical, this takes some creative thinking.  I am still gesturing my neighbour, but with a giggle, and am  generally feeling much happier.

My daughter fills my fridge. Seeing her baby belly shifts me immediately to ‘me’ again. So many blessings to love and appreciate.

I’m reminded: It takes a community to raise a Janet.  Oh, what an experience this whole

Not unusually, I think a lot about community.  Neighbourhoods aren’t often a community anymore.  A symptom is how busy by-law officers are. But I think about the community of family and friends and peers, near and far, and I am soooooo blessed.  Building community has been a part of my passions, education, work and life for a long time. (That has included the skateboard community… to explain why they skaterboys would care about my weeds, by the way.)   Funny how I’ve not done community building in my neighbourhood.

Tuesday rocked… I felt so good. I’m back on track with my way of making this all do-able.  I practise coaching me in the way I might coach someone else like me in my particular situation.  I recognize how much is out of my control right now, how much I really am not going to get to, so I consistently ask myself, and find the answer in the moment. “What gives you energy?” which always, for me, leads to:  “What would lift your spirit, make you smile, make you happy right now?”  Coaching does give me energy, workshops gives me energy… but alas, I am far too unpredictable and inconsistent to do what also needs to happen for my coaching clients – my total dedication and  dependability.

And so, on Tuesday,I have energy and the day includes: Swimming with my daughter and granddaughters, Dinner out with a dear friend, and Evalee, my granddaughter, had a long over due sleepover.  It was just a few outings, and each involved running into or hanging with lovely people I know. Everything my granddaughters do and say makes me smile.

Wednesday.. soul feeding continues. I say, ” I need to be near water.” Courtney says, “Then we’ll go to Shuswap.”   Hanging on the beach watching them all play, build sandcastles, and doing a bit of swimming. Sketching an image of Court and girls building sandcastles.  Good. A good day.

Courtney’s  comment as we sat on a beach. “This could have been the worst summer ever, but in many ways it’s been one of the nicest.’ Yes, so much time lazing about at beaches, parks, relaxing…

Thursday:   blood test.  shuswap. sandcastle. sketch.

thursday. can’t go to sechelt.

Animal School.. Watch if you have a child or have ever been a child.

Animal School. Sharing once again. Watch if you have children. Watch if you’ve ever been a child. Watch  if you  wonder about your passions and gifts… perhaps this will help you’remember and understand why they went astray. It’s short, sweet, memorable and thought provoking.

 

Being Genie.

“Being Genie” by Janet L.Whitehead © 2012

I put on hoop earrings. Instantly, I felt like a genie. I want to grant wishes.

And so, inspired by friends on facebook when I commented about feeling like a genie, I played with the concept of sharing my genie-ness.

Which was perfect because I needed something to play with. In the morning, I was rather sad that my weekend plans couldn’t happen, due to low blood counts.  I had to pass on a long awaited opportunity to go the Sechelt Writers Fair with Richard Wagamese and Debra Powell.  I was a bit surprised that my blood counts were that low, but knowing the risk – because I’ve seen first hand how dangerous infection and low blood counts can be by watching my daughter go through several critical situations while she was on chemo – this was not a situation where my optimism and somewhat risk-taking spirit would say, “Oh I’ll go anyway.”    (Low white counts happen during each chemo cycle, and will rebuild on their own by the next cycle, but when low, a person does not have the ability to fight viruses, bacteria or anything that may cause an infection.)

At the time then, I thought “Fine, thenb. How can I make today fun?” (Hmmm, I think the extra ‘b’ came from the way I talk with small sores in my mouth? )  It’s a question I ask often these days. It’s one thing right now that I can usually find an answer to.  Doing even the smallest thing that feels fun, creative, playful  lifts my spirits.  I can’t seem to get to doing my taxes. Or even remembering important appointments. But I can usually  find something, even a little thing, that feels good.

Because my adventurist spirit had also been squashed by not being able to go to Sechelt (I was even hoping for a little paddleboarding on the ocean!) I asked my adventurist self, “what is one thing you could do today that scares you?”

I  soon forgot about the questions, but then I randomly thought, “Wonder what you’d look like with hoop earrings?”  and voila! With this bald head, I actually feel like a genie with those hoops.

Creating the image I’m sharing here was fun for me.  (Image began with a pottery sculpture I made, that also turned into Page 2 of my book, The Demise of Noshud Hafta)

And let me tell ya, it’s scary.  It was scary taking photos of me in my genie-ness. Well, the scary part was looking at the photos. Of course I see myself constantly in the mirror, but a photo? Hadn’t happened.

It was so scary sharing my bald.. I mean.. my genie look on facebook.  I was shaking as I pressed ‘post.’  Seriously.

(Isn’t it delightfully curious how my original questions of the day evolved into being answered by a ‘random’ thought about hoop earrings? It seems questions like to have answers… especially if we get our logical selves out of  the way)

The comments from friends have been so heartwarming!!!  And sharing my genie-ness, has felt soooo freeing.  I even answered the door last night without running to find something to cover my head.  Phew.

In gratitude for all the support and encouragement by so many of you,  (and because it’s what genies do) I decided, wishes are being granted.

Feel free to share a wish.  The whole thing, or a whisper “I have a wish.”

I’m tossing those wishes in my wishpot. Heck, I’ll even toss in wishes in the wishpot that are wishes you want wished for you, that may have been left unsaid.

In they go.. Genie now at work.

Sleepy

July 2013 Note: Copied from my private blog. I don’t know why…maybe just the raw honest in the momentness of it. Maybe the permission I was trying to give myself to rest, despite where my chemo-ed mind was taking me. Maybe just sharing more about the role and value my Tall Ship visualizaton played. It just seemed it wants to be in this blog in the ‘series of events’ of last summer.

~~~~~

August 13th 2012
The masts are in the Master Mast Restorers. They are sleeping. The sparks aren’t flying. The feelers aren’t out in preparation for any crazy stupid ass thing that comes their way.

They are sleeping.

I’ve been sleeping.

Just stop… just stop the thinking.

Has your body been the one that has reacted to a life time that has had too much stupid hard shit? Is it your body that suffers for you, the many things that you’ve experienced and found your way past? Or thought you’ve found your way past?

You keep going. You keep getting hit.

But my body.. I’m so proud of it, I’ve always been so grateful for it…for being strong, for graciously carrying me on adventures, for it’s miraculous healing in the past. It doesn’t make sense, what it is going through now.  hmmm.

Just stop thinking.

Just rest. Now perhaps is time to follow suit with the masts and just rest… body, mind, soul.

Part II: The Tall Ship Visualization took a Strange Turn

Wow. This has been quite an experience.  But for this post to make sense, you’ll need to read Part I.

Prior to heading into chemo, round 3, concerned about my allergic reactions to each of the three chemo components, I’d been visualizing my Masts of my Tall Ship, doing nothing.  (Really, without reading the previous post, this will make no sense at all. ) I even painted an image to bring home the concept to my body, mind and soul and in particular my mast cells who have a history of overprotectiveness.. thus causing allergies, even analyphylaxis.

Imagine my disappointment when the first chemo was injected and I began to react. I started to cry. Lights flashing, Doc and nurse running, Benadryl galore injected, and.. well, it simply meant a drug induced day (beyond the chemo) that makes me twitchy, out of it, cranky, and raises the concern about if the treatments can continue. Analphylaxis is a rather scary thing, after all. I mean, really, could they even give me anymore steroids and anti-histamines than the crazy amount given pre chemo this time?

I was especially feeling sad that the visualization that felt so right, that was guided by synchronicities, and that I was certain would make a difference, didn’t.

I don’t know if ‘disappointment’ has ever played a strong suit in my life. It’s a judgmental thing, but I truly felt disappointment and said so. It struck me at the time that it’s not a word I use often.

Both the nurse and the doctor patted my hand, sincerely empathetic.  The nurse confided in me that they have a ‘special list’.. it’s not posted anywhere, it’s just a list of the special people who seem to have more unusual reactions.  She said I was special.. even if I didn’t react again, I’m on their special list. There’s something comforting about that. Simply being acknowledged for what you are going through can be very healing.

Masts NOT Happy

While my body settled, before the next chemo drug was injected, I decided to check in with that Tall Ship. What I saw in this visualization surprised me. The three masts were not happy… not happy at all. They had dropped the sails, although the crew had refused to rig them. Their yards.. like arms,  were bent and placed angrily on ‘hips.’  Random sparks were shooting off of them.

I thought, “Okay, let’s calm them down… what can I say to have them settle?” As I watched, I realized that anything I might say seemed condescending. Here were these three masts, proud of their work, doing what they believe is correct to protect me, and I had insisted they do nothing at all. It was a strange feeling as I recognized many things: that the body has a ‘mind’ of it’s own, that I had been a bit controlling, and that I was both empathetic and respectful.. realizing that my mast cells, although wild, had years behind them of thinking they were doing what’s right for me.

I told Mel, my friend who came to support me this day, my quandary. She said, “What if you ask them what they need?”

Of course.

I asked my Masts, “What do you need?” And honestly I was surprised at the rant.

Picture an  overwhelmed, under appreciated mom of young children, on a particularly crazy day… during that moment when someone perhaps condescendingly says, “oh it’s not such a big deal” or otherwise tries to trivialize the feelings of frustration. Ya, not happy.  And then finally, someone simply and sincerely (that’s key!) asks, “What do you need?”  That mom will know.. “I need a break.” “I need to get away.” or like my Masts said to me, “I need a spa.”

Yes, the Masts ranted that they wanted a spa.  Or at least, that was my first ‘sense’ of things. I tried to get a clearer picture of what a ‘spa’ would be for a Tall Ship Mast and I did: They wanted to be sanded, polished, oiled, and refitted.

“Do you actually want to leave the ship?” I asked as I saw a building materialize at a dock nearby. “Do you want to go to the Master Mast Restorers?”

“Yes” was the answer.  The crew immediately dissambled the masts and they were transported, rather magically, to the building.  I didn’t get to see inside that building.. yet. As my brother wisely pointed out last night as I explained this adventure, “perhaps you’ll still get to go deeper.”

The words, ‘refresh’, ‘renew’, ‘refitted’ and especially ‘reset’ played in my mind, emphasizing the potential of the Masts going to the Master Mast Restorers. There was such power in this visualization. I truly hope this means I am on a path of healing my crazy allergic reactions to so many things. Imagine.  Yes, I am imagining how amazing this could be.

The next two drug treatments were given that day without any allergic incidence whatsoever.  Nurses, Doc, Mel and I were all cheering!  Another patient who gifted me with a crystal that morning, because she’d seen what I went through the previous session, also cheered.

And joyfully, in the few days since that treatment, I have felt much better than previous treatments.

I decided to continue to explore this experience with another sketch painting.  That’s the painting posted above.  I painted it also, because I wanted to share this experience, and hoped to give you a more visual sense of what that Tall Ship of Mine was doing: Masts rather upset, but the Master Mast Restorers building materializing nearby.

I have no idea if this post makes one bit of sense because, as some of you have known me to often say, our intuitive place, where magic like this can happen, has trouble articulating.  “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant.” said Albert Einstein. I’m not sure my rational mind has quite been able to fully express the wonder of this experience. ~smile~

You know what I love about this painting?  This is simply a sketch – watercolour paint thrown down quickly on Yupo paper, not a lot of thought to the process- and look at the heart that appeared in the center of the center sail.  I love that.

And thank you, each of you who support me and who were sailing with me this past week.  I’m curious, anything strange happen to you that day? Were you busy disassembling Masts in your imagination, perhaps?

(The Tall Ship Adventure, Par III, continues here)